i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
