Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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