So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
