i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
