This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
