I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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