I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
