He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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