Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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