I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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