well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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