You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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