i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story