This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
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You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
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Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing