We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.