well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it