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lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
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