Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. ITâ€™S SAFE AND WORKS.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.