Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
