i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
