I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she woke up with a sticky ear
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
