Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
