dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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