Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
