Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
