Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
