like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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