We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
