last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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