Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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