You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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