mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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