yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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