Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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