I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
