I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
