no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
