i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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