you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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