I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize