please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I can't turn off my feet"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
