Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
