at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
His nipple licking is glorious
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