You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
His hands were made for my vagina.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
