It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
