btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
