i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize