He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Is it penis luge time yet?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
