Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
