now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
