A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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