Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I am one with the molecules
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
