DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
