Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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