Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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