So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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