Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
