at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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