I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
