The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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