Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about