Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.