Define "chronic" masturbator.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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