Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
