he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
